July 14th, 2014


Мне уже никогда не будет пятьдесят...

Мартин Эмис, собака, хорошо пишет:

This is the way it goes. In your mid-forties you have your first crisis of mortality (death will not ignore me); and ten years later you have your first crisis of age (my body whispers that death is already intrigued by me). But something very interesting happens to you in between.

As the fiftieth birthday approaches, you get the sense that your life is thinning out, and will continue to thinning out, until it thins out into nothing. And you sometimes say to yourself: That went a bit quick. In certain moods, you may want to put it more forcefully. As in: OY!! THAT went a BIT FUCKING QUICK!!! ... Then fiftiy comes and goes, and fifty-one, and fifty-two. And life thickens out again. Because there is now an enormous and unsuspected presence within your being, like an undiscovered continent. This is the past.

Martin Amis, The Pregnant Widow.

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