У меня было очень похоже на одной конференции, к счастью, я не управлял тогда самолётом.
В комментах на Ютюбе кто-то попробовал передать этот разговор в удобочитаемом виде:
Scottish Lass: Yes this is Glasgow, air traffic control, are you in distress?
Guy: Umm... yes I'm not a pilot I am part of Kylie Jenners brand integration team, we're on a private jet going to London for a lips by Kylie event but we hit bad turbulence and our pilot got knocked unconscious, but Kylie is not on board, thank god!
Lass: Okay, I don't know who that is, but sounds like you're going to have to land that plane. I'm putting you in very good hands, this man is the best, he'll get you down, just do exactly as he says.
Guy: Okay, I'm ready.
Scottish Lad: Alright now there's not a tick tock for Monica's (Dunno this phrase) big man, I know you're coming on a bit pale up there, but I'm going to have you land faster than a guy gets an erection.
Guy: .......!?! What!?
Lad: Now, I'm going to get you down but here is what I need you to do first okay? Have a deep breath!
Guy: D- okay what?
Lad: I just want you to take a deep breath... in, out, in, out, are you alright little man?
Guy: In... oot... what?!
Lad: Deep breath! Deep breath! And you need to stay calm!
Girl: What are they saying?
Guy: He says I need a steak-um?
Girl: Okay? Maybe there's one in the cabin?
Lad: Now listen to me very carefully, on the little panel of switches in front of you there's a brown thing with a red pin about the size of a... what would you call it? American cookie?
Lass: Oreo cookie?
Lad: Ore- no a keebler? No? Alright, there's a little thing about the size of an oreo cookie right? I thought it was a keebler... what's it coming in at? (What does it say / read?)
Guy: K-keeblar? Say again?!
Lad: Mate, the brown thing that looks like an oreo cookie, what is it coming in at? (What does it say?)
Guy: Ah.. broom do-da?
Lad: No, no, no, repeat; brown! The colour; brown!
Guy: OH! Brown?
Lad: Yes! What is the brown thing coming in at? (What is it saying?)
Guy: I am so sorry your accent is very thick, is it possible to not have it? Over!
New Guy: Alright let me handle this, I spent some time in Scotland so my ears are friendly to Scottish flavour. Yes hello this is Clement, Kylie's brand director, let's do this!
Lad: Good! Two heads are better than one, right have a little look out the window down at the ground. Tell me if your eyes can see (plane station name).
Guy: NO! Clement I need you! Clement I need you!
Clement: Alright fine, please tell me what I need to do?
Lad: Do- you- come on, you try with him. Lass: Alright, can you look out the window?
Clement: Did I eat at Wendy's? Never!
Lass: No, out the window!
Clement: Alright fine, I had Wendy's last week... but don't tell Kylie!
Lad: Listen big man stop talking about food, because we're only going to get a shot at this once! Now, there's a small red thing on the panel give it a pull.
Guy: CLEMENT! CLEMENT!
Lad: Oh no... oh no... oh noooo in the name of Jesus... radar has you leaving Scottish airspace, this connection is getting crunchier than a bag of smashed crabs.
Lass: Alright we're going to have to patch you over to Welsh air traffic control, get you down to the ground.
Lad: Alright god speed you lot (good luck!) Glasgow out...
Girl: Okay what's happening?
Guy: I don't know! I think we're on our own...
Welsh Guy: Hello? Welsh traffic control!
Guy: Maybe not! Good to hear your voice Wales :D
Welsh Guy: Okay... uwiary98p4t8watu843tq8u4t[qt4ut3qtirjgos
Girl: Just aim for water...
This entry was originally posted at https://just-tom.dreamwidth.org/788615.html.